Saturday, December 4, 2010

Did you miss me?

My creative side has been on furlow for some time now. January 2010 I reconnected with my high school sweetheart and married him in May. That will stifle your creativity. Really it just made me frustrated that I didn't have time to be creative or to blog. Probably a time management issue. I am NOT domestic and I had to cook some and clean some MORE than usual. You expect there to be adjustments that have to be made but let me tell you, it has NOT been fun. My husband moved into my house so there was an adjustment for me to move things around and make room. My house is clean and that was an adjustment for him. I thought his house was yucky just because he was a guy and that he would be thrilled to live in a clean house. Not really, he likes it yucky. That causes dificulty. I like my yard mowed regularly and had a yardman that did a very good job. Wayne talked me into getting rid of the yardman and he was going to mow the yard... that was a bad idea. Wayne only mows the tall grass so where it wasn't as tall he just skipped. My yard has looked like an embarrassing mess ever since. He tells me I have a control issue when really HE has a control issue. Really all this kind of stuff is just adjustment type problems and with time will work itself out. The BIGGGGG problem is he is a closet alcoholic and I had NO IDEA. Now we are at a point where I've had to draw a line in the or the alcohol...he can't decide. My last 210 days have been rocky. The second day of our honeymoon he pitched a fit, told me I had a control problem and we needed marriage counselling. All because I wanted to fold the foil for the BBQ grill double and he wanted it single fold. We had gone to a park to cook out and both forgotten our tools so we had nothing to turn the meat with. He said he'd lay a piece of foil below it while it cooked and place another piece on top to flip it with when it came time to turn it. I said ok but let me double the foil so it would be stronger and less likely to tear and our meat fall. I started a fight although I never saw it coming. You'd have to know my husband is a small man, very quiet and laid back. He thinks alot. He isn't usually quick to rile so the problem with that is I NEVER SEE IT COMING. He doesn't argue, he assasinates my character instead. I've never been in an arguement with anyone that argues like that. At three months I gave in to marriage counselling. He thought the counselor would point out all my flaws and shortcomings and straighten me out. In actuallity it has been the other way around. Turns out HE is the one with the control problem but he projects it on me. One day he said "I thought we had clarity before we got married about everything including Who would be the boss"...Hmmmmm, strange I didn't know marriages came with a boss. Therein lies the problem! That and the alcohol.
I had planned to go to the INSPIRED event in May but cancelled due to the fact it was the week after my honeymoon. It just didn't seem the right thing to do at the time. Now I wish I had gone because my marriage hasn't been good since the "get go". I got all the class stuff from the event but not the instruction stuff. I really need the instruction too. And it's just not the same sitting alone in my craft room. I like being with other crafters.
I had a trip to Idaho on the calendar for October. A trip to Brave Girl Camp. I cancelled that to take my mother-n-law to visit her older brother recently daignosed with advanced prostate cancer. My MIL can't fly due to inner ear issues and her brother lives in Miami, Florida. Thats an 18+ hour drive from here. That trip went about as well as the honeymoon. My husband was a jerk the entire trip. I have really regretted cancelling my art trips for him. Now I'm looking for trips for 2011. Any ideas? I live in Shreveport, Louisiana so I am looking for something within about a 4-5 hour drive in either direction.
I NEED CRAFT TIME WITH OTHER CRAFTERS. I am going through withdrawal. HELLLLP.

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